Work 101. Instructor: dhf's mother. Credits: 0. Day/Time: MTWTFSS 12:01am - 12:00am

Things my mother taught me:

1. There is work to be done. Someone has to do it. You can’t count on anyone else to do it right, or at all, so you might as well do it yourself.

2. If the work is not done, it will only create more work down the road, and since #1 almost always holds true, you will be the one doing more work.

3. At any given task your co-workers will be one or all of the following:
a. Lazy
b. Incompetent
c. Absent
Therefore, it is in your best interest to help them out (ie do all the work) to avoid # 2.

4. Work that is not done will bring shame and condemnation on you and your entire family.

5. Once the work is done, there is more time for fun, and the fun will be made even more fun by the fact that you don’t have the thought of undone work hanging over your head.


Things most of my co-workers’ mothers apparently taught them:

1. Life is not about work. It is about joy, and sunshine, and gossiping about the little people, who are working. Don’t waste your time doing something someone else can do better.

2. Tasks left unfinished will be completed by the next person, who let’s face it, is probably beneath you anyway, so who cares?

3. If someone else is willing to help you out or do it for you, let them. They likely:
a. Enjoy it
b. Have nothing better to do
c. Are too stupid to know any better or do anything else
If not, they would stop.

4. You are a special person, with special gifts; do not squander your time on details and menial tasks (See #2).

5. Have fun! There will be plenty of time for work later.