The coffee's probably not a safe bet, either

I’ve only dropped one tray at the restaurant. Actually, it wasn’t even a full tray – just one plate of food that slid off the corner of the tray as I pulled it out of the window. It’s amazing that I haven’t dropped more. I mean, I’m clumsy. I once fell and knocked over an end table and broke a lamp by doing nothing more than turning to face a friend who was speaking to me. Another time I tripped over the sidewalk and slammed my face into the concrete outside the library. In front of a lot of people. Who all rushed to my aid, embarrassing me even further. The worst part was I had a twenty-eight hour bus ride home ahead of me and a bad case of facial road-rash, though I'm not sure I stood out that much with the other Greyhound passengers.

Regardless, it amazes me that I am able to carry a tray full of water glasses and coffee pots and plates and soup bowls and chinchillas. Okay, scratch that last one. Just making sure you’re keeping up.

Making it through the diningroom with a fully loaded tray is pretty tough. Especially when it’s busy. Sometimes, you have ten or twelve glasses of liquid on a ten inch round tray balanced on your fingertips, and you have to make it from the kitchen to the table without spilling.

This wouldn’t be so bad if it were a straight shot, but there are always obstacles – other servers, children running around unattended, high chairs sticking out in the aisle because guests don’t listen when the hostesses tell them it isn’t safe, little old people who walk damn slow or just plain stop for no reason. Our restaurant even has these infernal rocking chairs. Which rock. And rock even harder when kids jump out of them. I can’t tell you how many servers have been taken down by the backs of these quickly abandoned rockers.

As hazardous as the diningroom is, it is nothing compared to the server aisle. Ours runs the length of the restaurant, spanning everything from the dishroom and bussing station at one end, to prep and the breakroom at the other. The grill hood (where the cooks tray up the food to be served) is in the middle of the server aisle. Opposite the grill hood is the salad cooler, salad dressing station and juice machines. Beside the grill hood are the bread stations and soup stations. And at each end of the aisle are the long counters that hold the tea and soda and coffee and hot chocolate stations.

And the aisle itself is four feet wide. If that.

On a busy day, there are ten or more servers, two managers, a couple of bussers, a server assistant, and a few more random employees all fighting for space in this aisle. Imagine carrying a tray loaded with food or beverages through there while moving as fast as you can without running because you have four tables on the floor and everybody needs a refill. Now. Right now (Damnit, where is this waitress with my sweet tea!). Sometimes I think of it in terms of football, like being a linebacker and having to pivot and turn and swivel in order to avoid the other players while trying not to drop the ball.

Last night, for example, was insanely busy, and there we were short-staffed. The dish room was backed up, the server aisle was a mess, even the grill was a little backed up, and we all had more tables than we could comfortably handle. It was three hours of chaos. Still I managed to make it through the night without dropping a thing. I was the only one.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad for a shift to be over, and I was ready to just hop in the car and get home. When I started the car though, I realized I needed to get gas, so I stopped at the BP across the street and while the car was filling I went inside to grab some caffeine. Another woman reached the door just a moment before I did and she held it open for me and we exchanged smiles and I thanked her as I walked inside. I was thinking about how nice that was, such a small thing really, but such a change after a night of angry customers and the resulting short fuses of my co-workers. I was thinking this as I opened the cooler and picked out a bottle of cola.

And as I closed the cooler door, the soda bottle slipped from my hand. And it burst. Sugary, sticky liquid exploded and fizzed out all over the floor and my pants and the pants of the woman who had just been considerate enough to hold the door for me.

The woman was very sweet about the whole thing, as was the store clerk who had to clean up the soda spilled all over the floor and splashed up the cooler doors. He even refused to let me pay for the bottle I dropped.

I was mortified.

I apologized like crazy and even joked that I had made it all night at work without dropping a tray, but couldn’t seem to handle a sealed plastic bottle.

The clerk laughed and asked me where did I work. I told him and he said maybe he’d request me next time he came in. Then he said, “I just won’t order the soup.” And he and the woman laughed.

Not funny. Not funny at all.